Update & Revelations on My Yoga Challenge

There is NOTHING wrong with your body, but there is a lot wrong with the messages which try to CONVINCE you otherwise. -Rae Smith

Thank you for all the comments, both written and spoken, about my blog on body image. Since I seem to hit a nerve, I thought I'd write about it a little more and give an update on my yoga intention to accept, let go and have faith, and share the revelation I've received in my April yoga challenge.

You know what would be really nice? If after committing myself to yoga, I'd look sort of like this:



Which is sort like my thinking that if I were a "real" runner, I  should look like this:


Or those of us that do crossfit  and swing enough kettle bells, we should look like this,


Just go to google and click images, and type up yoga, running, crossfit and these are the bodies you see. It would be so nice if I ran enough, did yoga enough, ate clean enough, whatever enough, I would achieve the beauty both my ego and social media has made me think is what I should look like, BUT what message would that be sending to my precious girls?  That the goal is to look a certain way? That yoga or running or moving or eating clean is in vain if I look like I do?  How would that help me on this road to self acceptance? It wouldn't. I'm beginning to realize that spiritual truth on health is not skin deep, and that is worth passing along much more so than the image my ego desires.

In my yoga challenge to accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what is to come I'm learning to mainly keep focusing on acceptance, which is a much more evolved and valuable truth than achieving a beautiful body.  To hell with what GOOGLE or my silly ego thinks I should look like.

This is yoga.

 And Running looks like this as I run in up and down the streets of Diana's neighborhood waiting for Anna Cate's bus.

 And my crossfit workouts now involve working out around the kids. I got a kettle bell for Christmas; I use the girls for my squats and have figured out there is a lot you can do with body weight (both mine and the girls'), a 35# kettbell and 10# dumbbells. I'm considering what my next piece of equipment should be, so I'm open for suggestions. My best friend thinks it should be a weight vest; I told her that I'm carrying around extra weight already.

  My cool downs involve the kids.

 Yesterday, on Memorial Day, I completed, on my own, in the community playground a scaled version of a "hero" workout, a crossfit WOD (workout of the day) in honor of a fallen soldier. The workout is Run 1 mile, 100 pullups, 200 pushups and 300 airsquats, Run 1 mile with a weighted vest. I did it without a vest and used a band to pullups on a monkey bar. While I looked like an idiot I'm sure, I'm happy that while going to a Crossfit box (gym) only worked out for a season of my life, the workouts and what I learned are lasting.

Sort of like the yogic intentions to accept, let go and have faith have lasting legitmacy for me in my quest for health. Speaking of health, I got a juicer for Mother's Day and think I may have found the holy grail of wellness.

Maybe if I juice enough I'll look like…Just kidding. This is what juicing looks like (Anna Cate took this picture of me at a winery.) Wine is juice, I'm sure of it.

Say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks.
Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others. 

This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you're too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.” 
― Oprah Winfrey